OC VS MARYSUE
by Beck2
Summary: Round Nine: The Stunning and harrowing conclusion!
1. Round One

I was bored. I admit it. This is the product. I was perusing the site, and I kept hitting little mary-sue fics. Some were funny, some were not, some were just bizarre. And I was struck by inspiration. Believe you me, at that hour it hurt. Anyway, this is the product.  
  
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Arcane: What exactly is this supposed to be about?  
  
Dexroth: You're about to be sucked into a mary-sue fic.  
  
Danny: BOTH of US?  
  
Dexroth: It's not as bad as it sounds. Trust me.  
  
Arcane:.Right-hand whacko...  
  
Dexroth: You're going to regret that.  
  
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ONCE UPON A TIME IN A PLACE CALLED BAYVILLE  
  
There was a band of mutants. Yes indeedy, these were the same mutants we all know and love, plus three! If you have been keeping up with my other fics, which no doubt you have or I shall look at you with deep sadness, then you will know two such people. One is the wildly popular Danny, the animal Empath who has yet to find a sassy codename, because face it people, there just isn't a lot of good codenames out there for that sort of person. And manimal is already taken, darn it. The other is Arcane, who's real name I will not divulge because..I don't really want to.  
  
And the last, the most amazing yet, is Carneila Scorcha Nefirrit, etc. But for all intentional purposes I will call Bob- I mean, Carni. (small hands?) She had the power to draw every sort of man towards her, and destroy things just by glancing at it, has all those nice mary-sue powers, etc.  
  
And this is where the powerful story begins, a story of romance, intrigue, drama, suspense, and-  
  
Danny: Shoot me Arcane. Please.  
  
Arcane: I only have one bullet for some odd reason. And you must be daft if you think I'm going to waste it on you.  
  
May I PLEASE continue? Thanks. This story starts at the beginning-  
  
Arcane: What a novel concept.  
  
Danny: *snicker*  
  
As I was saying, it STARTS NOW.  
  
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The world was beautiful. Carniela etcetera walked out of her beautiful house to see the people she knew were standing out on her beautiful lawn. She had beautiful blonde hair with silver eyes, a great smile, a great wardrobe, and all those things that create mary-sues.  
  
"Hello, Carneila. I know I switched the I and the e around, but that's not important. What is important is that I am Professor Xavier, you are an incredibly powerful mutant whom I will teach to hone powers, and did you realize how beautiful you are?"  
  
She nodded. She'd heard it all before. Well, maybe not the mutant part, but everything else. The part about her being beautiful.  
  
So she went off to be with the mutants. She told them to call her Carni, because that's what everybody calls her.  
  
"Oh, how beautiful your mansion is," she breathed as she beheld her new home. Logan smiled at her.  
  
"It isn't as beautiful as you are." All the men nodded in agreement. All of the girls thought this was odd, but because Carni used the jedi ability to cloud their minds, they soon forgot about it.  
  
A large dog ran past her (guesses, anyone?). It was big and powerful. And fluffy. Mustn't forget fluffy.  
  
'Ah,' she thinks to herself in that weird mind voice the audience can hear but everyone else seems oblivious too, 'I must take care of that poor waif. Obviously some heartless person threw him out. Come here boy!' Then she realized she was still thinking and actually spoke the words. Never mind that the poor waif had a collar with a nice shiny tag on it. The dog came over anyway.  
  
"Oh you poor thing," she cooed, "Some awful monster has left you to die." Said dog looked around to find said monster. Seeing no one, the dog returned to look at her confused. She slipped into that animal speech that mary-sue's seem to exhibit so frequently.  
  
(I will take care of you. You can stay with me forever.)  
  
The dog gave this a couple seconds of thought. While he did, she looked at that nifty little tag that, more often than not, holds the name of the dog.  
  
(Doggy? What an awful name..I will call you.Rufus!)  
  
To which Doggy protected himself by biting her. On the nose. Then he ran off. But it didn't stop her, because she exhibited her mary-sueish powers of healing and healed her face.  
  
Doggy should have gone for the throat.  
  
Just then a girl with long brown hair wandered past her. She was not as beautiful as Carni. But she did have a rather handsome fellow at her elbow.  
  
She did her best to meet his eye, but because he was wearing a fedora and not looking at her it was a bit difficult. But somehow she managed. They looked into each other's eyes. His pale green eyes and her beautiful silver eyes met, and they knew it was love at first sight.  
  
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Arcane: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!  
  
Dexroth: MWAHAHAHHAHAH!  
  
Danny:..that hussy..  
  
Dexroth: You're jealous.  
  
Danny: She tried to steal DOGGY!!!!  
  
Dexroth:..  
  
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Arcane kneeled on the ground, professing his never-ending love to her.  
  
"I love you! I will do everything! I worship the ground you walk on and bow to you and lo-"  
  
WHACK!!!!  
  
Danny slapped Arcane. Presumably because she couldn't take anymore of his crap. But my muses have their doubts.  
  
Carni and Danny glared at each other.  
  
"You cannot stand in the way of true love!" Carni launched into a long speel about love and truth and honesty. Danny took advantage of her being distracted and called the pigeons from the roof to dive-bomb her. Pigeons will do anything for cheetohs.  
  
Carni tried to call them off, but did she have a cheetoh bribe? Nuh uh.  
  
Too bad for her.  
  
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Disclaimer: I'm getting bored of these. So I'm only going to do this once. The characters that are mine are mine. X-men and marvel belong to somebody else.  
  
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Well, that was as far as I got. Tell me if I should continue.  
  
Review Please! 


	2. Round Two

Haha! Second chapter!

Cryptic1:  Yes, yes that is true.  Danny is the girl.  Arcane is the boy.

Dragonet:  Thanks a bunch!

roguehobbit:  I know, aren't they fun?

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Carni (after the pigeons stopped dive-bombing her, it might have had something to do with the sudden bolt of lightning that shot out of her hands and scared them off, but I cannot be sure.) walked back up the steps to the institute.  She had found her love, and she could not allow him to get away.

On the other paw, Danny had Arcane locked in a closet.  She quickly clapped her hands together.

"Like hell I'm gonna let her seduce a freakin' gunslinger.  She'll probably turn him all goody-good and what fun will THAT be?"  Then she walked off.

Totally oblivious to this (which was incredible, because she is supposedly a great psychic) Carni set off to find her love, who's name she didn't even know.  On the way she met Danny, who was returning from locking Arcane in a closet- I mean doing absolutely nothing.  Yes siree, she was being totally innocent.  No bad thoughts going on in her head.

"Hussy." I never said I was right all the time.

"Hello!  You are a mutant, right?" Carni asked her brightly.  She seemed to have forgotten that Danny had just set pigeons on her several hours ago.

"No," Danny said innocently, "I just hang out in mutie manor because it makes me feel happy."

"Oh I know!  Isn't it wonderful?"  Apparently it managed to slip by her that Danny was being sarcastic.

Carni looked around.  "You haven't seen a tall stranger with piercing green eyes around here, have you?  He's my soul mate you know."

Danny looked around for a sharp object.  Unfortunately, only Carni's head comes to a point around here.

"How can he be your soul mate if you don't know his name?"

"I just know."

Danny was about to say something awful to her, but she was interrupted.  Again.  Don't Mary-sue's have ANY manners?

"I know!  How about we be best friends?  I mean, I am so wondrously beautiful and smart and your, well, not, and plus I am so popular and you seem to be lacking in that, and we would be a perfect match!"

She prattles on like that for awhile, and Danny develops a nasty twitch.  The ones that are incredibly noticeable to everybody except to the ones that are causing it.  Then she turns on her heel and walks out.  Danny, not Carni.  Carni is still talking about opposites attract.  

Danny walks out of the institute and runs into Logan.

"Hey kid, you met that new mutant?  Pretty beautiful, hunh?"

Danny walks past him without answering.  She walks to the gates.  She stands there for a full half-second, then screams at the top of her lungs.

"AAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Told you that would happen.

The gates swing open with little trouble.  Would YOU want to cause trouble to the deranged empath? 

Danny began walking.  And thinking.  It took her awhile to come to an idea.  Mainly because when she stopped to rest, the idea was standing right in front of her.

A zoo.  Danny grinned and started to walk in.

Only to be stopped by Wanda.  "You realize that going to the zoo is one of the things you are forbidden to do?  It says so in 'the list of things Danny may not do.'"

"Don't worry Wanda.  You can just tell people I hit you."

"Why are you doing this?"

"A certain hussy has caused my mental stability to decay.  It's all good."

"What?"

"SHE'S EVIL!  SHE'S TAKEN OVER THE INSTITUTE AND I MUST DESTROY HER!"

Wanda just stared at her.  She never saw Danny like this, and it was, in truth, a little frightening.

"Have fun."

"Thank-you!" Danny walked into the zoo.

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Arcane:  Am I still in the closet?

Dexroth:  You'll get out next time.

Danny:  MWUHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHA!!!!!!!  Hezibah!  Herman! Doggy!  Kally! WE GO TO WAR!!!!!!!

Dexroth:……She's taking this a little too seriously…

Leave reviews please!  Flames, compliments, critiques, I don't care as long as they're there!


	3. Round Three

Hm…A little extra bit of nonsense this is.  

Dragonblond:  I take your permission and idea wholeheartedly.  But unfortunately, I almost know nothing about mademoiselle Ryo.  Perhaps you could shed some light or at least point me to the fic that has a complete description of her powers and looks?

hnh: I think her womanly harms may have worn off.  Doggy is currently eating a giant milkbone.  He thanks you.  Hunnn…Hummers….

roguehobbit:  She will preservere.  And she thanks you for your luck

Laureate:….*reading off little paper* …...'Hezibah does not eat Mary-sue meat.  That meat poison for Hezibah.'

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I'm back.  Stop Screaming!  I'm not that bad!  Where was I?  Oh yes.

Arcane managed to get out of the closet.

"What kind of girl locks a guy in the closet with his guns?  She must not have been thinking straight."  Never mind he was speaking to himself.  He was half-deaf anyway.  

Carni, in her most splendiferous beauty (gag. me. with. A. spoon.) turned the corner and set eyes upon her love.

"My love!  As soon as I have your name we shall be married and have many children and live happily ever after!"

Arcane got a severe 'deer in the headlights' look.  Apparently her 'lovin' charm wore off.  Because everyone knows, Mary-sue's must have angst.  And if that means going after the only guy who's currently running away from you-

"Wait!"  Carni gave pursuit.  "I need your name!  And your soul, but we won't get into that right now!"

See?  Danny said she was evil.  Danny!

Danny was coming home after a most fruitful, err….. Let's just say she had a nice time at the zoo, shall we?  Never mind that the zoo was in flames and the entire menagerie was following her home.

"Onward, my warriors!  We WILL DESTROY that evil monster!"

Somehow I just knew that would happen.  Back to the other paw!

Carni had lost her soul mate.  Never mind the fact that he was cowering on the roof, in plain sight to everyone that just looked up.  She rounded the pool and ran into another mutant.

"Oh hello!  You haven't seen an absolutely gorgeous guy in a trench coat have you?"

Ryo looked at her then snuck a glance at the roof, where Arcane was gesturing for her to say no.  After a particularly violent gesture, he toppled off the roof backwards.

"No, I can't say that I have," she finally said.  Carni looked at her closely.

"Are you new?  Oh I just love to meet new people!"  Never mind the fact that Ryo had been there longer than she had.  But Mary-sues just have to gush about these things.  Carni seized her arm.

"Come on!  We'll do each other's hair and you can tell me all about your native country!"

"Native?  Wait!"  Alas, La pauvre dame Ryo.  Not even with her dragging her feet and clawing the wrist of the Mary-sue that grabbed her could she make her getaway.

"I COME TO FREE MY PEOPLE!" Alright, Danny has definitely snapped.  Of course, if the cop cars following her and the managerie flanking her didn't tip you off, I don't know what will.  The gates opened up with little comment.  You just don't make comments to deranged empaths.  It slammed in the face of the cops though.  I mean, if the cops got in to stop her, it would defeat the entire purpose of her stealing the zoo.

She (Danny) wandered about, ignoring Arcane, who was struggling to get up after falling off the roof, till she found that Mary-sue trying to kidnap some poor girl from the pool.  Had she no decency?!

"Stop right there!"  Carni looked over to her. 

"Oh!  My best friend!"  Again, that nasty little twitch started up.

"You're right!"  Danny suddenly brightened up, which makes one believe that she found that happy place that everybody has.  And quite frankly, terrifies me, because an empath  with an entire zoo at her back that just reached said place is, more often than not, a bad thing.

"And as you're best friend, I'd like you to meet my friends.  HAVE AT!"  Lions and tigers and elephants and…so on, oh my.  And so the zoo attacked Carni.  Unfortunately she used her mary-sue powers to turns all the animals into babies.  Which really didn't work very well, because baby bears have claws, baby elephants are several hundred pounds etc.  But the point is, she survived.  Damnit.

But all hope is not lost!  Danny managed to free Ryo from the grasp of evil that was and still is Carni and they both ran off.  Yay.

"Who are you and what was that?????!"  Ryo glared at her.  Danny struck a pose.

"I am Danny, animal empath, and I shall defeat the evil that is the hussy that tried to steal my bo- I mean, my Dog!"  She runs off blushing furiously.  "Damn thoughts!  Always getting messed up in my head!"

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Dexroth:  I'll say…

Danny: After I destroy her, you're next.

Dexroth: I've been threatened by more powerful creatures than you!

Danny:  What?  Make-believe characters made by computer nerds playing role-playing games?

Dexroth:………….

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Ryo: At least I was saved….I guess.

Arcane:  You just hit the fire, kid.   I can't believe she ignored me…

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Yes, I'm done.  Third chapter.  

Wow! I got a cd with all the James bond theme songs except for the most recent movie, and they are so fun to listen too.


	4. Round Four

Fourth Chapter!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Chaotic boredom: Right here!  
  
Laureate: Animal planet must be slipping. Should Hezibah make an appearance? I just realized that Doggy hasn't been in about three chapters.  
  
roguehobbit: Err.I actually forgot about them.But they're back!  
  
Dragonblond: Thanks for the four-one-one! Hmm.I didn't get her very stubborn this chapter.I'll try to do better next time.  
  
Dragonet: I agree.  
  
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"Where are we going again?" Ryo yelled, trying to keep up with the fast moving Danny.  
  
"We're going to cut off her supplies!"  
  
"What?!"  
  
"We're going to the hood house!"  
  
"Are you insane?"  
  
Danny turned all the way around to look her in the eye. Ryo stared.  
  
"Sorry. Stupid question."  
  
Danny turned around and kept walking. Ryo started wondering why she was even following the animal-happy empathic lunatic.  
  
Somewhere in author land, Ryo is trying to escape. But everybody knows that you can check out, but you can never leave. The Eagles rock. No one can say they don't like the song Hotel California. But that's beside the point, neh?  
  
The other feeler!  
  
"I know! Let's sing Cumbaya!" As usual, Carni was her happy self. She managed to get all the people in the institute, sans a certain gunslinger and two girls that were trying to save the brotherhood from a fate worse than death, into a circle of 'well-being and love.'  
  
Yuck.  
  
"I'll do anything for you, beautiful Carni." Scott whispered. All the other guys, even the professor, agreed. Which actually kinda freaks me out. How old is the Professor? He's practically fifty years old. You'd think he woulda found somebody by now. But if he did, that would kind of ruin the whole 'lonely telepath' shtick he's been using.  
  
But I digress.  
  
The girls agreed as well. To the Cumbaya..thing, not doing anything for her. But that is expected. Err.the not doing anything for her part. Personally, I do not expect Rogue to start singing Cumbaya and holding hands with Jean. That...is a disturbing thought. I have to go clean my brain with Clorox now.  
  
"Cumbaya! Cumbaya!" They all started singing. And now I shall switch to  
  
The other Ear!  
  
Danny banged on the door of brotherhood house. Lance opened it and stared at her.  
  
"What are you doing here?"  
  
"Saving you life."  
  
"What?"  
  
"There is an evil force in Bayville! My friend Ryo and I are trying to stop it, but it's coming for you!"  
  
Lance looked at Ryo. She held up her hands.  
  
"I barely met her. But I think you better do as she says, she already put Bayville zoo in flames."  
  
"I thought she wasn't supposed to-oh. Wanda said something about that..okay, Danny, we're going." He said that last bit in a very placating voice.  
  
"Good! Now I have to go see Magneto!" Danny started walking off in another direction.  
  
"Danny?"  
  
"What?"  
  
"You're going the wrong way. It's in the opposite direction."  
  
"Thanks Lance!" She did an about face and started walking the other way.  
  
Lance looked at Ryo, who looked like she was going to ask if she could stay with them.  
  
"Have fun following Doolittle." So much for that. Ryo sighed and followed the empath, who was humming army marching tunes under her breath.  
  
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Arcane, who after his recent bout of bad luck, the whole getting-locked-in- a-closet-after-getting-slapped-and-before-falling-off-the-roof thing, was paranoid. Who wouldn't be? He fell off a roof and got slapped before he got locked in a closet. That's bound to freak anyone out. And he was currently the object of undying love from a girl who just didn't know the meaning of 'get the hell away from me you evil monster.' And then there was Danny, who was ignoring him and who had now disappeared. And seeming that it was either go home and be attacked by an evil creature who professes love, or go out searching for an empathic girl on warpath. Obviously, he picked the less beautiful, less popular, insane one with brown hair dragging some other poor girl around to help her.  
  
Yeah, I'd pick that one too.  
  
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I have to admit something. I did not expect to have so many reviews. And I am most pleased.  
  
Now, if you'll look real hard in this happy little story, you'll see a character that isn't mine. Ryo belongs to Dragonblond. And, if you have a character you'd like to toss in in the fight against the evil mary-sue, feel free. If not, well that's cool too. But if you have some sort of suggestion for me, or compliments, or something else, please, don't hesitate to leave a review. 


	5. Round Five

Fifth chapter!

Laureate:  They probably will make an appearance.  I'd love to see Alba!  As it is, there's only five OC's so far.  Not counting the animals.

Chaotic Boredom:  So true…I love to read reviews even if they have nothing to say.

Aslyin:  Thank-you!  She's in there.  Umm…You wouldn't mind if I use her evil form, do you?

Dragonblond:  Now that you mention it, he does get around for a dude in a wheelchair.

Iora Rua:  Hmm…a hypnotist…very interesting.  Yes, I'm sure she'll be perfect.  She's in here!  (though only mentioned slightly.  This was a long chapter.  I'll do more with her later.)

roguehobbit:  Not….exactly.

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"Magneto!!  Come out!"

Danny and Ryo stood outside the top secret manor of the Alcolytes.  Never mind the fact that they had found it in less than two hours.  That's not important.  No, it isn't.  Hey, who's telling this story?

Magneto stuck his head out of the window to stare at them.

"Get out of here before I tell my Alcolytes to attack!"

"I'm trying to save you!  It's almost too late to save the Professor!"

"What are you going on about?"

"There's a new mutant at the institute!  She's evil I tell you!"

"Why do I care—evil, hm?  At the institute?  Thank you for telling me.  ALCOLYTES!"

The alcolytes jumped out of nowhere.  Actually, they'd been hiding behind the door, but at his command they jumped out so if you pretend the door wasn't there, then they jumped out of nowhere, didn't they?

"Lock those two up!"  Magneto commanded as he ran back inside to put on his tights—I mean costume.

"Hi Dan!"  John said as he grabbed one of her arms.  Remy grabbed her other arm.  Piotr and Sabretooth both grabbed Ryo.

"Hi John!  Johnny!  I haven't ran anymore cops off the road!  Well, Logan and the Professor won't let me near the cars, but that's beside the point!"

"I'm so proud of you Sheilah.  I haven't gotten arrested by cops for harassing butterflies. That counts for something, right?"

"It counts for everything!  I'm so proud of you John!"

Ryo stared at them.  Not only was the psycho that attacked a zoo talking to the Alcolyte, they were laughing and talking like they were old friends.  She turned towards Piotr.

"What is with those two?"

"There vas a mission and those two were in a group that got lost for awhile."

"That makes…no sense.  But I'll live with it."

So Danny and Ryo were dragged into the house and locked in the basement.  Deciding that he would need a lot of muscle and that John wouldn't be left behind because he had a relationship with one of the prisoners, someone else had to be left behind.  What? No, not THAT kind of relationship.  Get your minds out of the gutter!

So they left Sabretooth there.  He grumbled about it, but he wasn't going to disobey Magneto.

Pansy.

Back to the institute!

Carni had everybody doing cross stitch. Why?  I don't know.  It has to be some weird Mary-sue thing.  Or she was making a sweatshop.  That's more plausible.  When suddenly!!!!!!!

**_DOOM!!!!!!!!!!!_**

Magneto and his Alcolytes came out of nowhere!  Never mind that a second ago they were at the Alcolyte manor.  That's not the point. Magneto slowly floated to the ground.

"Carni!  You will join us!"

"No!"  Scott yelled from his doily.  "We won't let you take her away!  I love her!"

"We all do!"  The other guys agreed, while the girls stared at them.  

Carni smiled at him.  Immediately Magneto and his Alcolytes fell in love with the most beautiful mutant.  So they fell to their knees and pledged their undying allegiance.  

And Carni allowed them to kiss her hands.  She had turned the Alcoytes good!

Back to Ryo and Danny!

"Oh gosh."

"What?"

"We've been captured."  Danny stated matter-of-factly.

Ryo gaped at her for a few minutes.

"Where exactly have you been?!"

"I…don't know.  I seem to have a huge blank on everything except you.  And I'm not really sure about that.  You're name's…I want to say Leo…"

"RYO!"

"You need to calm yourself.  Panicking will get us nowhere."

"You're….."

"Yes?"

"…sane."

"Usually.  What made you wonder?"

Ryo decided not to answer that question.  Danny might have a relapse, and though crazy Danny is exciting, it isn't as nice as sane Danny.

"Hey!"

There was a sound of muffled fighting and a loud thump as something hit the floor.  A voice wafted through the door.

"Heck of a kiss eh?"

Ryo jumped forward and began beating on the door  "Let us out!"

The door broke open revealing a girl with wavy blue hair and of course the infamous Arcane standing over a knocked out Sabretooth.  

Ryo looked at him closely.

"You're the dude that fell off the roof."

"I'm so glad you remember me."  He said dryly.  Danny walked over to him.

"Is that new girl still there?  How did you get out of the closet?"

Indeed, he'd been out of the closet for a while.  HEY! GET YOUR MIND OUT OF THE GUTTER!  IT ISN'T LIKE THAT!!

"Yeah, I got out.  You're sane.  That's good to know.  Oh and this is Pheobe Dracul.  I found her on the way.  I told her what's happening and she wants to help."

"Hey!  You forgot about me!"  Arcane looked behind him.

"Oh.  And that's Madison.  She won't stop following me."

"Oh.  I guess we can go back to the institute now."  Danny, still in her oddly calm, sane state, totally unlike she was earlier.

Scary.

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That was the fifth chapter!

Danny is sane…But for how long?

If you have an OC you'd like to place in the fight against Mary-sue, you may submit them in your reviews!  If not, that's just fine, but if you have suggestions, I'll take those too.


	6. Round Six

Sixth chapter  
  
Aslyin: Don't worry. She'll probably go psycho again sometime.  
  
Chaotic Boredom: I hesitate to ask, but I must. Why the large fist?  
  
roguehobbit : We're on it! We won't leave the alcolytes behind!  
  
Laureate: I know! Every time some bad guy turns good they become totally.I don't know what they become, but they no longer have appeal.  
  
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Hezibah and Doggy lay down low in the undergrowth. It had been what seemed like days since Danny had left. Never mind the fact that it had only been about four or five hours. Their mission: spy and gather information for their mutant leader. They tried to get the zoo animals that were running around to help, but they were all babies and it really wasn't working. They were dogs-err dog and hyena without back up.  
  
But they would persevere. Because they were cool like that. What do you mean I need another reason? Okay, fine. They would make it because Hezibah is a nasty hyena that bites people and because Doggy is crazy enough to try to rip Logan's arm off. That is why they will persevere-  
  
"Oh! Rufus has a girlfriend! I guess I need to get you fixed!"  
  
Doggy ran off howling. So much for persevering. Carni looked at the massive hyena.  
  
"Oh, such an ugly yet cute little puppy. I'll take you in." She picks Hezibah up with her incredibly powerful mind.powers..and went back to the institute.  
  
Now Doggy was all alone.  
  
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On the other side of bayville three miles away.  
  
"Who are you?"  
  
"Cheeseman!"  
  
"What?"  
  
"I stop enemies by throwing string cheese on them!"  
  
"That's..unique. NEXT!!!!"  
  
Danny looked up from her applications. "Do you think we'll ever find another member? We need more people if we're going to save the alcolytes." They had not been able to go back to the institute.  
  
The very boring person who, as of yet does not have a name, or does but I have forgotten it, looked at her in an extremely..I don't know how to categorize it, but it is very easy to be ignored.  
  
"Why should we save the alcolytes? Aren't they better as good guys?" She asked. When nobody answered her, she spoke louder. And louder. Finally she grabbed a conviently placed bullhorn and yelled the question into Danny's ear. Even so, Danny didn't say anything.  
  
Ryo looked up. "Aren't the alcolytes better as good guys?" The person.I want to say Adington, glared at her.  
  
Danny looked back at her. "No. I don't know Remy or Piotr all that well, but I will not allow John to be sucked into her web of deceit. I will save him."  
  
Pheobe grinned. "Well, You're an animal empath, right? Why don't we recruit the zoo?"  
  
Arcane barked a sharp laugh. "Been there. Done that. As far as I know, the zoo is in flames."  
  
"What are you guys selling?"  
  
Danny looked up to see a rather thin, sinewy girl. When she grinned she could see fangs.  
  
"A lifetime membership in the fight against a bad mutant."  
  
"Alright! Let the good times roll! I'm Alda!"  
  
"What do you do?"  
  
"I can poison people if I bite them! Err.there isn't going to be a lot of blood, is there?"  
  
"Will.that be a problem?"  
  
"Yeah. But just a little one."  
  
"I like her." Arcane shut the notebook of applications and chucked it into a dumpster. Never mind there was a dumpster within chucking distance. That's not the point.  
  
"Welcome to the.what are we again?" He looked at them.  
  
"The Original Whackos?" Ryo commented snidely. Danny shook her head.  
  
"No..We're the ORIGINALS!"  
  
Creepy theme music plays.  
  
^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^**^*^^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^^**^  
  
Carni pined at the loss of her love. She hadn't seen him in six hours the pain was EXCRUCIATING.  
  
As if Mary-sues know pain.  
  
Carni watched as Magneto directed everyone in how to make a fortress to protect her. They didn't want to lose the beautiful Carni and her new dog, Carni the second. Never mind Carni the second was trying to bite the Mary- sue but kept phasing through her. She had had some name like Hezbucket or something, but Carni wanted her to have a beautiful name like her own. So she gave it to her. Her own name.  
  
Carni tilted her delicate head when she heard loud chirping. And squeaking. What could it be?  
  
Bats hit her room like a swarm. They obscured her vision and she sought to part them by speaking sense to them.  
  
Fat load of good that did her.  
  
Something jumped on her and bit her hand, making her lose her concentration on Carni the second. It jumped off just as fast, and something broke the door down, though she could not see it through the bats. Then the bats suddenly flew out of the window, and no one remained but herself.  
  
^**^*^^**^*^*^*^*^**^^**^^**^^*  
  
Herman led the colony back into the cave, where Hezibah, Doggy, and Kally were staying until Danny returned. Doggy had enlisted their help after Hezibah got captured.  
  
They never leave their own behind!  
  
*^*^^**^^*^**^*^*^*^*^*^*^^*^*^*^**^  
  
Yes! My OC critters are joining the battle!  
  
Alrighty pilgrims, if you have an OC you wanna drop in, leave em in your reviews or e-mail me, but remember to review to tell me you sent it, or I might accidentally delete it. If you don't, well that's just fine. You got suggestions, leave them too. 


	7. Round Seven

Seventh Chappy!  
  
dreamer_gurl: Am I.insane? No, I can safely say I'm not. Liar. WHO ASKED YOU?! Nobody. You're the crazy one. I am not. Are too! Alright, that's it, you're going down!!!!!!!......I'm sorry. I am a third voice, and I must warn you that the argument you just read became a hostage situation and an impending suicide..No, nevermind, everybody's okay now. A vote of five to three says that you're probably right. (Just kidding, I'm just messing with you. But, really, whether or not I'm sane depends on your definition of sanity.)  
  
Zara the Pirate: It has always been my goal in life to upset lizards. No, really. Have you ever tried to get a lizard angry?  
  
Laureate: She would, but I don't won't to cause my youngest muse/transfer muse to have a complex when she goes.  
  
Azzandra: Well, she is now in the fic! She makes.what? The seventh member?  
  
Iora Rua: I have a three day weekend ahead of me though, so it ain't so bad.  
  
Chaotic Boredom:...I'm number four hundred and ten! WOOOHOOO!  
  
*^^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*  
  
"Wait! You can go without me! You guys are going to go destroy something and you aren't taking me? I thought you guys were my friends!"  
  
"Who..ARE YOU?!" Ryo stared at the girl with the black hair. She was only about thirteen.  
  
"I'm Jinx! Why didn't you remember?"  
  
"Because.I haven't met you before." Ryo said, trying to inch away from her. Danny and the others and some weird person that wouldn't leave them alone were watching with great amusement.  
  
"You can't say that!"  
  
"Do you even know my name?"  
  
"..Well what do you know? I guess I don't know you. But that's okay. I'll just call you death-face."  
  
"WHAT!?!?!?"  
  
"If she wants to come, I'll allow it. We don't know how dangerous the alcolytes will be," Danny said wisely, because..I don't know, but it's a definitely better than saying it stupidly.  
  
"WHAT?!?!?" Ryo glared at her in disbelief. Now that I think about it, can one glare with disbelief?  
  
"Yaaaay!!!!!!!" Jinx ran past her and latched herself to Danny, who didn't seem to mind, because she hangs around kids and people who have the mentality of children all the time.  
  
I wonder if that is a repressed mutant power.  
  
"That is so sexy! Isn't it cute when people are good with kids?" Alba threw an arm around Danny who just stared at her. Arcane glared daggers at the back of Alba's head, even though he wasn't supposed to like Danny.  
  
"Don't you ever stop hitting on people?" Pheobe said down her nose at her. Alba fluttered her eyelashes.  
  
"You're just jealous because I haven't hit on you yet."  
  
"This is my team?" Danny asked no one.  
  
*^^*^**^^**^^**^*^*^*^*^**^^*^**^^*^**^^*^  
  
Hezibah led her bat army-well, actually, the bats hung off of her fur, but for all intentional purposes, she was leading them.  
  
As I was saying, she led her bat army across the institute grounds. The rest of the colony and Kally were with Doggy, approaching from the opposite direction.  
  
They approached the building and got there at the same time. Or, at least almost the same time, Hezibah accidentally fell into an indention that, oddly enough, looked and smelled like Arcane. Well, it looked like an indention of Arcane. It wasn't actually Arcane, you see, because Arcane is plotting ways to do something to Alba that doesn't involve killing but doesn't involve living either, because she is hitting on his not a girlfriend Danny, when Alba already hit on himself. And he is on the other side of Bayville. So it cannot be he.  
  
But I digress.  
  
"THERE YOU ARE!"  
  
Apparently I did not get back fast enough.  
  
And apparently Hezibah is not brave enough to stand up against Carni. Would YOU want to try to fight the person you couldn't fight and who dressed you up in hideous pink dresses that would make Little Bo Peep commit suicide?  
  
I didn't think so.  
  
Hezibah turned tail and blitzed around the side of the building, putting the escaped-still-baby-cheetahs-cause-Carni-thought-they-looked-better cheetahs to shame.  
  
Doggy had almost gotten there when he saw Magneto.ummm..twisting metal.for no apparent reason. He decided to leave the mutant alone and call off the assault. That and the fact that Hezibah just tore past him with her tail between her legs probably made him rethink his position.  
  
"RUFUS!"  
  
Yeah, rethinking his position would be great. He decided to rethink his position by setting off in the general direction of Siberia.  
  
*^^*^**^*^*^^**^^**^^**^^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*  
  
"Maui!"  
  
"We don't have that kind of money, Toad." Lance rolled his eyes. They were standing outside the bus stop, about to move out of town. After the zoo burned down, they decided to get out before they got blamed.  
  
"You're under arrest!!!"  
  
Too late.  
  
"It's the fuzz! RUUUUUUUUUUNNNNNNN!"  
  
Never mind they could have used their powers to stop the cops. No, that totally slipped their minds as they all took to the hills.  
  
"COME BACK! YOU'RE RESISTING ARREST!"  
  
Wanda turned and hexed him.  
  
"OF COURSE, YOU IDIOT! THAT'S THE POINT!!!"  
  
*^^*^**^^*^*^^*^*^**^^*^*^**^^*^*^*^**^*^*^  
  
Sorry it took me so long to update. I got cousins coming in. 


	8. Round Eight

Chapter eight  
  
Azzandra: Hmm..All of your voices tell me many things. But I don't think I understand a word of it.  
  
Chaotic Boredom: Heh. I mentioned you very much indirectly.  
  
Cryptic1: Heh. I was going to update this one sooner, but I got caught up. ::sweatdrop::  
  
roguehobbit: Alba is a girl. Who happens to be attracted to anything good- looking. People wise.  
  
^*^*^*^*^**^*^*^*^*  
  
"WE MADE IT!"  
  
"..We've only been walking for ten minutes."  
  
Ryo glared at Danny. " Yeah, well, when you're with the Originals, it's forever. What's the plan?"  
  
A lone cricket starts chirping. Dexroth the muse walks in. The originals stare at him. Would you not stare at someone dressed that funny? He turns to glare at someone who is sitting on the wall not far away.Oh wait, it's me. Uh..Carry on, Dex!  
  
"I'm dressed funny? You should look in the mirror sometime." He grumbled as he pulled out a can of Raid and sprayed it on the lone cricket who just won't shut-up.  
  
"You killed it." Danny whispered with tears welling up in her eyes. Though usually she wouldn't care because, let's face the facts kids, there are more bugs than there will ever be humans. And while she likes animals, she ain't exactly coming to their beck and call. Heehee. Beck.  
  
"WILL YOU GET ON WITH THE STORY?!"  
  
Sheesh. What a pushy muse. Where was I? Oh yeah. And for some reason the death of the cricket struck some inner cord. Dexroth had to think fast.  
  
"Umm..It was Mystique! Sent here to spy on you by Carni!"  
  
"I don't believe it."  
  
"Hahaha...Don't believe what?"  
  
"I CANNOT BELIEVE CARNI WOULD STOOP SO LOW! COME ON! WE HAVE TO FREE THE ALCOLYTES!"  
  
And so she led her group into the institute grounds. Dexroth shook up the can of Raid.  
  
"I can't believe I was put on debugging duty."  
  
Ahem. We'll get away from that. The other ear!  
  
^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^**^^*^**^  
  
" Oh my. My friends, we are about to be under attack."  
  
Scott ran up to her. "I'll use my great leadership skills to bring the enemy to your feet!"  
  
"The boy knows nothing! I, Magneto, shall catch them."  
  
"Stop!" Carni rose her voice slightly, but not enough to be called yelling. Mary-sues only yell when they are in the throes of massive heartbreak. Like if a certain gunslinger died.  
  
But that's not going to happen. She knew it. Just like she knew she was the most wonderful person in the world.  
  
"You will work together. Bring them to me. I'm sure we can work things out."  
  
And so the evil plan was put into action.  
  
*^^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*  
  
"Other than being chased by that rhino, there doesn't seem to be anything going on."  
  
"It wouldn't have chased you, Ryo, if you hadn't provoked it."  
  
"That's not true! Danny, it was Jinx's fault."  
  
"No way! It was all death-face!"  
  
Alba looked around as the three quarreled. Something had been bugging her. Then it hit her.  
  
"OWWW!"  
  
"Eh? Alba, are you alright?"  
  
"I never thought you'd ask, Arcy.."  
  
"Alba," Danny said calmly. "If you don't stop hitting on my..friend, I will hurt you."  
  
"Aww! I didn't know you guys were a couple."  
  
Pheobe grabbed Danny as she moved forward to do something like sock Alba in the jaw. Danny seemed a bit sensitive about this area of conversation.  
  
"Oh! I just thought of something!"  
  
"What?" Jinx asked.  
  
"If this girl, Carni, can make anyone who looks at her her slave, how do we prevent it?"  
  
"It doesn't work on me. And for some strange reason, some strange plot device, it doesn't work on Arcane, either. At least, not anymore."  
  
Oh, if Danny only knew how right she was!  
  
"And I'll bet," She supplied, "that none of you will be effected. Simply because that's the way the cookie crumbles."  
  
"ATTACK!"  
  
"We're under attack!" Alba yelped.  
  
"What was your first clue?" Ryo snarled as she took her fighting stance.  
  
Kurt bamphed in with Roberto and Piotr. Ryo gathered all the sounds they were making and shot it at them. Pheobe attacked the second wave, consisting of Ray and Remy, stealing their powers and proceeding to wipe the floor with the rest of them. Alba jumped Jean and they got into the chick fight that I KNOW everybody wants Jean to get into. Not to mention the fact that Alba was wiping the floor with her. Danny used her power to gather every single animal on the institute grounds, as well as a few wayward ones *cough*HezibahDoggy*cough*, that oddly enough appeared to be in some person's house, and set them on Magneto and the rest of the girls. Arcane and Jinx went back to back with severe bad luck befalling all who tangled with them.  
  
And one whom was ignored throughout the battle snuck away into the shadows. But nobody really cared. They were busy creaming each other.  
  
"I SHALL PUT AN END TO THIS!"  
  
Carni floated above them all, prepared to end the fighting in one fell swoop.  
  
*^^*^*^*^*^**^^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*  
  
Oh no! What will befall our OC heroes? How will they ever survive? Will Carni be stopped? If so by who? Will the Authoress ever stop babbl-  
  
DEX! STOP HACKING INTO MY COMPUTER!  
  
Dexroth: Nihahahahaha!  
  
Alright, you all know the drill. Leave suggestions characters or suggestions if you wish. If not, that's cool too. Leave me a review telling me if you liked the story. 


	9. Round Nine: It ends!

NINTH CHAPTER!  
  
Chaotic Boredom: I guess will find out this chapter!  
  
roguehobbit: Yeah, maybe I shouldn't have put that notice. *sweatdrop* Not that I don't like the reviews, mind you.  
  
Laureate: Oh goody! I make people's weeks. I'm glad!  
  
CrypticIdentity: Thank you very much! He sounds like a cool character.  
  
Alliriyan: Alright, but I'm not going to make that a habit. Thank-you much!  
  
Kitty Tigri: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles were so cool.  
  
Iora Rua: I always think its funny when older peoples get lost like that.  
  
QuickCheetah: Okey-dokey. Thank-you much!  
  
hnh: What can I say? I like making up funny sayings.   
  
Azzandra: Tut, tut. Some inner voices have no manners.  
  
^**^^**^^*^*^*^**^*^^**^*^*^^*  
  
"It was good knowing you all." Pheobe said as she took a fighting stance. Alba leaped up to stand beside her with a large hunk of red hair in her hands.  
  
"You will all stop fighting! I shall use my powers to make sure you will al be friends!"  
  
"Not if we can help it!"  
  
Everybody looked around to see..  
  
"EVAN!" Ryo squealed, gaining about ten odd looks from assorted people. Danny snickered.  
  
"Aww..Ryo's got a boyfriend."  
  
"Shut-up you empathic psycho!" She returned hotly. "I don't have a crush on him!"  
  
"Yeah right!" Jinx snorted.  
  
"EXCUSE ME, WE ARE HERE TO SAVE YOUR LIVES!" A girl with long stringy red hair yelled. Scott turned on her.  
  
"And what are you going to do?"  
  
The girl mutant, who looked like a hippy snake girl, gulped visibly. "Uhh.Nothing! Carry on!"  
  
"Stacie!"  
  
"What do you expect Evan? I'm a pacifist!"  
  
A mutant that looked like a white tigress glared at her. "Wimp."  
  
A boy waved his hand at them and suddenly both became sober.  
  
"Beware the power of Sanity. Kitty, Stacie, behave yourselves."  
  
"You're telling me." Arcane muttered under his breath.  
  
"Let's stop that mutant!" Evan yelled. The four of them.well, the three of them, Stacie just kind of walked, charged into the fray.  
  
Sanity immediately filled the X-men and the Acolytes with panic. Both Scott and Roberto couldn't take it and ran off like sissies. Danny set animals upon her enemies, this time with Doggy and Hezibah, who chose to show up. Arcane, Alba, and Ryo stuck together and tried to take out people with hand to hand combat. Pheobe and Kitty (furry) teamed up to take on Pyro, and Evan began to pin people to walls with his spikes. Magneto tried to turn the battle in his favor, but Jinx snuck up behind him and kicked him in the shin.  
  
"*^%&% *^^%&%^!!!"  
  
That last section was bleeped out to protect the Authoress's PG rating. And besides, you couldn't really tell what he was saying since the helmet got turned around by some awful luck.  
  
"THIS SHALL BE FINISHED! AS SOON AS I WAVE MY HANDS YOU WILL ALL BE FRIENDS!" Carni put her hands up and prepared to do her evil Mary-sue magic when something happened!  
  
...  
  
....  
  
....I SAID, SOMETHING HAPPENED!  
  
"THIS STORY BELONGS TO ME, I DECIDE WHEN THINGS HAPPEN!"  
  
"Who are you?" Carni asked the girl..Mandy, Andy? Oh, I can never remember.  
  
"Of course you can't remember! That's the point!" The girl swept her hand up and pulled off her mask. There stood a beautiful, slim woman with white hair and black streaks and cold blue eyes!  
  
"Why does this feel like déjà vu?" Magneto wondered aloud. He had managed.somehow to get the helmet turned where it was supposed to be.  
  
"You should FATHER! I'm Madison Maximoff, the lost triplet of the twin Maximoffs!"  
  
"How many kids does that make that?" Ryo whispered to Evan. He tried to count it on his fingers.  
  
"How do we know this? My children aren't here for me to compare!"  
  
"You need your twins to be here to help you realize if this is your daughter? Don't you keep track of these things?!"  
  
"Quiet Charles! It's not as if this hasn't happened to you!"  
  
".."  
  
"..It DID?!"  
  
"Enough! This story belongs to me! I am your daughter, Magneto! Don't you understand? We were meant to rule together!"  
  
"NO! the X-men and the others belong with me!"  
  
Carni and Madison glared at each other. It was a fight between two Mary- sues. And the only hope of it all was that they kill each other and leave the rest of us in peace.  
  
"Let's get her."  
  
Uh-oh. Gotta move to higher ground. Wait..She wants to kill you!  
  
"Who?" They asked in unison.  
  
Her!  
  
"Why you," Madison glowed pink for a minute and yelled loudly. "THE POWER TO HURL OTHER GIRLS INTO A BRICK WALL!"  
  
Carni was hurled into a brick wall. But not before she yelled out, "WATER COME TO ME, COME WASH AWAY THIS ENEMY!"  
  
Carni got hit by a wave from the fountain. Never mind the fountain was much to small to support that kind of wave, but hey.  
  
"You're power has to rhyme? Hah! Take this, the power to, to, uh.make the ground swallow up the opponent! HAH!"  
  
Carni swiftly flew up and sent another wave of water at Madison. She gracefully dodged and turned the wave into a Technicolor bunny.  
  
"Wow." Danny nudged Arcane. "Anybody bring the popcorn?"  
  
Carni stopped and struck a pose on the battlefield. Madison faced off against her. They drew into their hands all of the power within their bodies.  
  
"Die!"  
  
"I will not allow you to live after what you have done!"  
  
They threw the powerful beam blasts at each other. They tried to overwhelm each other with the sheer power....For a long time.  
  
"AAIIEIEEEE!" They both screamed in heart rending agony. The energy enveloped them both, and they were gone.  
  
There was silence.  
  
"YAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"  
  
So much for that.  
  
"I believe we have learned a valuable lesson today," Professor Xavier said, beckoning them to surround him. They did so.  
  
"We have learned today that mutants that seem all powerful are a bad idea. Yes, Evan?"  
  
"Didn't we figure all that out with Apocalypse?"  
  
"Don't change the subject. Now I want everyone to go inside and gather up the doilies and quilts. We're going to have a yard sale."  
  
Amid the cheers and hoots, Kitty (the one without the fur) walked up to the Professor.  
  
"Do you think Madison and Carni will ever return?"  
  
"No. And it is so strange. While she was around I couldn't live without her. But now that she's gone I've come to the truth."  
  
"And what is that Professor?" Danny asked. Arcane stood beside her (he doesn't have a crush? Who are they kidding?). Her team of Originals and the extras Evan brought in stood behind her.  
  
"I couldn't stand her. What a twit. Are your friends staying? With all the fortress building we have over twenty extra rooms."  
  
"Yeah."  
  
"Cool." The Professor wheeled off.  
  
"Hey Dann! Just wanted to say bye before I go, shielah! You know where we live now, so don't be afraid to drop by!"  
  
"Bye Johnny!" Danny waved as all the acolytes left. She looked at her friends.  
  
"Looks like everything is back to normal.  
  
^*^**^*^^**^*^*^^*^^*^*^^*^*  
  
"That was some party, yo."  
  
"Yeah, look at out pad. How'd we get here?"  
  
"Toheckwiththat, let'sgomeetgirls!" Pietro sped out of their hotel room, then sped quickly back in. "Youwillnotbelievewhereweare!"  
  
"Where?" Yawned Wanda. She had been in another room.  
  
"Maui! Andwehaveaporscheregisteredtousandfivepointfourmilliondollarsinthebackseat!"  
  
"Yeah!" Lance ran out and was stopped by the manager.  
  
"I'm afraid as the only guests left, you must pay for the damages of your party last night."  
  
Lance groaned. "Figures. How much?"  
  
"Your winnings last night. Including the porche."  
  
"Aww, man."  
  
A sickly looking dog sat nearby. "Give them enough money to get home." He whispered.  
  
"I'll let you have enough money to get home." The manager said.  
  
"Have a nice day."  
  
"Have a nice day, young man." The manager left pompously. Lance left to go get his room mates. The dog sat there for a minute. Then it got up.  
  
"you ain't nothin' but a houndog, cryin' all the time."  
  
*^*^^*^*^*^*^*^***^COMEDIA A FINI^**^*^*^*^*^*^*^**^*^*^*^^*  
  
Yes. That's the end of Carni. Until someone russurect her or something. No. That's to scary and cruel to think about.  
  
CREDITS!  
  
Alba, the snake girl who hits on everybody, is property of Laureate. It's an OC not quite made public yet, and loaned to me for this special story, but as soon as she writes a story with this OC, I suggest you read it. It's a fantastic character.  
  
Ryo is property of Dragonblond, the parody writer of clue. If you haven't read that work, I suggest you do so. It's highly amusing.  
  
Pheobe Dracul is the property of Iora Rua, whom (sadly) has not written any stories for this particular OC, but I cross my fingers in the hopes that she does so.  
  
Madison, or better known as the ignored OC, belongs to Aslyin. She lent me this OC out of the story, I'm you and you are me. A very good story. I loved it.  
  
Jinx is the property of Azzandra, a very interesting reviewer. Jinx is one of the voices in her head. A very creative story teller.  
  
Stacie, the cowardly snake girl, belongs to QuickCheetah. I think this is a very good character. I hope you use her.  
  
The furry Kitty belongs to Kitty Tigri, a mutant ninja turtles fan. Which is good, because I don't like being the only one.  
  
Sanity belongs to CrypticIdentity. Without him I could not have used my Sanity jokes.  
  
Gaspode the wonderdog (in the very last bit) is property of Terry Pratchett. Suggested by Alliriyan.  
  
Arcane, Danny, Herman, Hezibah, Doggy, and Kally belong to myself. Thank you.  
  
Evan and all other X-men belong to Marvel. 


End file.
